monkei's sunday trip

time for completion: 1 day
time as experienced: 1 week

1 functioning '94 VW Golf III 4-door converted to cargo mode
2 really tired roommates
12 - 16 hrs worth of music on minidisc
1 swanky new minidisc player (roommate's, not mine... :( )
1 list of things "needed" from Ikea
1 piece of plastic
2 tanks of gas
1 tsp salt
1 friend in pittsburgh
1 ex-girlfriend in cleveland
1 million gallons of water
1 or 2 deer (not halved)
tons of hope

Wake roommates up at around 7:15am. Clean each separately with a shower. Combine roommates, minidisc player, and the list into the '94 VW Golf. Gradually fold in 12 -16 hours of music as desired.

Attempt to get on US-23 South at the 94 interchange, but fail due to unexpected and unwarned junction closure. Curse at the lack of signage and continue east towards 275 -> 75 -> 80/90.

Stop for 1 tank of gas before entering the 80/90 turnpike. Use plastic. Throw 1 tsp salt over shoulder as you pull into the McDonald's drive-thru for breakfast. Have roommate spill coffee in lap. Do not collect $1 million dollars.
Be really sleepy while driving down the turnpike. Misread poorly repainted lane lines in construction area and drive like an ass. Pull over at next service plaza for a pit stop and driver change. Immediately take a nap. 80/90 sucks anyhow.

Wake up pulling onto the PA turnpike. Note beautiful rolling hills of PA. Offer to take over and take the car into the city.

Barely remember the crazy interchange system that is downtown pgh. Be mindful of the crazy construction and detours that shunt you around 579, through downtown, to get to 376. Remember the crazy right turn to get you off on Forbes. Realize that you're not on that freeway and have an easy time getting on to Forbes.

Reminisce like crazy. Try not to hit other cars as you look for your old haunts. Try not to hit other cars as you find new store fronts. Try to remember how far down Fifth Ave S. Negly is. Hope to be first in line for a pgh-left.

Remember how skinny the roads are with all the crazily parked cars. Feel both completely out of place and right at home all at once. Want to read Mysteries of Pgh and watch Wonder Boys again.

Hook up with friend and head off to swanky, completely out of place, indian food place. Dread the Squirel Hill on ramp. Hold your breath in the tunnel. Meander through more hills of pgh and past the cement factory to Udupi's. Butter Masala Dosai.

Stuff your face with the best indian food you've known. Hope you won't have to drive with the windows down for the remainder of the trip. Hope you won't have to stop too many times on the way home.

Drop your friend off back in pgh. Immediately head out to Ikea. Hope you can remember how to get to/through the Fort Pitt tunnel. Continue to feel completely out of place and right at home. Think about driving by old places of residence, but chicken out at the last minute. Barely pass by a dwelling once shared with a now ex-girlfriend but don't look to much for fear of hitting church goers.

Make your way out to Ikea. Remember how pgh drivers like to slow down before entering tunnels. Remember how pgh drivers like to slow down before reaching the top of a hill. Realize that they don't drive as fast here as they do in Michigan. Smirk at the "Don't Tailgate" signs all over the highway. Wonder if Ikea really is out this way towards the airport... Question whether maybe it was past Monroeville. Remember taking the 28X specifically for an Ikea run and not the airport.

Pull up to the big blue building. Remark on it's size as compared to the Schaumberg Ikea. Meander through all the interestingly named product lines. Pull out and reference the list twice. Watch/follow a mother/daughter team power walk through the store towards the exit. Forget to buy structural support for the bookcase.

Attempt to take 60 to 76 to 80/90 as a sort of shortcut, but get mired in more construction zones. Sigh. *sigh*

Pull up at toll booth in transition from Penna Turnpike to the Ohio Turnpike. Note that the car next to you carries people you recognize from Ikea. Confirm by seeing the back seat full of Ikea products. Make jokes with references to "The Big Lebowski." "You think it was the Poang pissers?"

Make your way towards Cleveland.

Have trouble navigating wierd urban layout. Dump 1 gazillion gallons of water all over Cleveland in a matter of minutes. Almost lose car twice in newly formed lakes in the road.

Pick up ex-girlfriend friend and go out to dinner at hipster place. Order the messiest BBQ Seitan sandwhich you can find and pay way too much for it. Hope for wetnaps. Excuse yourself to the bathroom instead.

Leave Cleveland just as easily as you made it in. Don't lose car in lake sized puddles. Get on 90 just _after_ that crazy 90 degree 30mph turn. Rejoice.

Travel home through the soupy fog. Try not to halve the 1 or 2 deer you see on the side of the highway. Don't realize that one of your headlights is out until tomorrow.

Discuss a stop in Toledo, but realize that, while there are people you'd like to see there, you only know the how to get to the house they were house sitting for. Add that they're no longer house sitting there, you don't know their home address, and you're tired as hell to come to the decision to just push home.

Arrive back at your apartment at roughly 12:30am monday morning. Unpack the car and stack it all in the living room. Share a Christmas like feeling with your roommate and both ponder "openning just one tonight." While your roommate puts an end table together, unpack your new office chair but decide that it's too much effort right now.

crash.